How long before a man removes all pictures of his dead wife from his house? Or at least the ones in plain view. I don’t know about the ones in drawers…I’m thinking they must be around somewhere. I know there isn’t a time frame for grieving and grief. It is different for everyone and maybe a man needs to put those things away in order to move on and begin to date. It still stings, though. She is my sister and my house is filled with pictures of her, us, our life, my memories.
How long before a man begins to push away his dead wife’s family? Does he need to do that in order to continue to move forward? Did he really dislike us all along and just put up with us for her sake? This is my theory although I will never have confirmation, as these are questions I can never ask him. Now that she is gone he doesn’t have to pretend anymore and he can make things very uncomfortable for us by waving his disdain in our faces. She is my sister and I love her but I am starting to dislike him and I feel a rage building inside of me that threatens my equilibrium.
I’m sad because my bond to them fades each day that she is gone. My niece grows older and is molded by her father. He is not a nice person, even less nice than he used to be. I tolerated him when she was alive because she chose him and she’s not an idiot so there had to be something there. Now she’s gone and I feel as though I am disrespecting her memory with my feelings. I can’t make them go away though and they are in direct response to his actions.
I had done a good job of trying but I am tired of standing up for him. I’m so tired of hurting and missing her. I need her guidance and it is ironic because if she was here I wouldn’t be going through this at all.
Coming up on two years in August and the daily pain is marginally better but overall I am no different than I was the day I watched her take her last breath.
