Letter

Dear Jen,

You were so close to me that night in January, I truly felt you there.  He said all those things and there’s no way he would have known otherwise.  I am so grateful.  Thank you for making your presence known and for setting my mind at ease.

I still miss you like crazy.  Every day I wish I could see you and talk to you, especially now with another baby on the way.  I just want to talk about pregnancy stuff with you and to have someone to share with when I’m scared and uncertain.  I have passed you in the journey of motherhood because I have more kids than you.  In the near future my Sunshine will be as old as Ashley was when you died and I will be as old as you were when you died.  Then I start living my life as even more me without you.  You were never older than 35, but I will be.  You never saw your daughter go to kindergarten but I will walk my Sunshine there in the not too distant future.  And on and on.

I feel better knowing where you are, where I think you are at least.  I am a little more content knowing you can see me and can hear me and you can read my thoughts, when they are about you.

Big changes are ahead for me, once again, but I will never, ever leave you behind.  You are a part of me, my blood and my soul.  My love for you will never cease, is undying, and will be carried throughout my life and spill over into my little family.  I can’t wait to see you again, somewhere.  And when I do…I can only imagine how happy I will be.

Until then, I miss you each and every day and love you always and forever.

Love, me.

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