About

I live with my wonderful husband in a place I call Sucktown, USA. We hate it here but we stay.

We have 3 dogs and two cats. We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary in April and our daughter, Sunshine, was born on May 24, 2008. It’s an adjustment but she’s beautiful and I adore her and I can’t imagine life without her. She’s a gift and I cherish that.

My older sister was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer, stage IV, in May, 2004. Over the years since her diagnosis she fought as hard as anyone could, traveling the country for treatment, visiting various doctors to expand her treatment base and never allowing the disease to define her life. After her original diagnosis she had a liver resection and was on various different chemo drugs. Remission always remained a hope, a goal.

My sister Jen died on Saturday, August 25, 2007.  She was 35.  In the end it was her body, which had tried so hard to fight the disease, that ultimately just gave out on her. Although her will to fight and live was so strong, her tired body just couldn’t do it anymore. Her stupid fucking cancer had spread to her lungs and grew out of control and she was slowly suffocating.

I miss her so much but at least I know she’s not in pain anymore. The last weeks of her life were absolute torture as she struggled for each breath.

Jen left behind a devoted husband and a beautiful  daughter who is now 6 1/2, many friends, my heartbroken parents and me and my husband. We gave up our own life to be able to help her live hers and as much as I’ve hated this place and this life here, I don’t regret my decision and I never will.

I love warm weather, sunny days, and the beach.  Before I got pregnant I exercised religiously and I’m trying to get back on track with that.

Most days I shy away from human contact.  I keep to myself.   I rarely engage in small talk. Mostly I prefer to be alone…after 4 years, it’s become a way of life.